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People I work with often describe themselves in our first session as “broken”.  They have encountered challenges or held onto negative beliefs for so long that they feel they are now so damaged that they  no longer have worth or value. I know the feeling, there have been times in my life where I too have felt broken, especially through different types of grief. 

As I walked my dog in the meadow today, I breathed in the calmness. The sun was shining down on us, the buttercups were in full splendour, and the Red Kites were floating on a thermal and my mind turned with fondness to Stuart, my brother.  Today would have been his birthday.  

When you look up Self-Confidence in the dictionary it says:

Self-Confidence: A feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement.

So, are you a confident person?

I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve seen so many people wait to New Year to make those changes and then after a few weeks they slide on by. Of course, I also know that in order for change to happen you have to be ready and if you are ready then why wait till New Year to make positive changes?

This week was my birthday. I was so grateful for all the birthday wishes I received from so many friends, clients and loved ones and I was reminded how truly grateful I am to have them all in my life.

We often overlook the little things in life that can bring us joy.  We get so consumed with all the bad things happening either in our own world or the world around us and we forget all the positive things happening right in front of us. Flowers in bloom, the smile of a stranger, or the smile or kind word from a loved one, a hug, our health, food on the table and a roof over our head to name just a few.

A few years ago, I was challenged by a friend to write a Gratitude Journal.  I’d become fed up, my world seemed difficult, I felt underappreciated and overwhelmed. (Please don’t worry, it turned out I made it all up in my head, which I’ll tell you about another day, but I digress).  My friend challenged me to write down three things that I was grateful for every single day. At first, I found this so difficult, and I must say, as I look back on that journal, I notice I even cheated on a few days and wrote similar things to the day before!  But, as the days went on, when I began to really focus on just three things every day that I was grateful for, I saw my world changing.

The more I focused on the good things, the more good things I saw, imagine that.

Our minds have two basic aims: to keep us safe & alive and to keep us happy.  They also work, as most computers do, on finding patterns so that they can perform these tasks quicker.  This is why we often see patterns in the oddest of places – like when we see faces in a piece of toast or an elephant in the clouds. 

Now, I can hear you asking yourself “what’s this got to do with gratitude – get to the point Nicky”.

Well, we know that our brains work on patterns because we can also become stuck in habitual thinking patterns.  Our reality is created by our thoughts and feelings and so, as I began to focus and think more about those good things in my life, my brain began to see a pattern and presented me with more and more opportunities to see good things and less of the “bad” things. 

I wonder if you’ve ever decided to buy a car and you may have sat and pondered “which car shall I get?”  You find the perfect car for you, and you think, “you know, you don’t see many of those on the road” but, as soon as you’ve made your choice and get the car you begin to see that car everywhere.  Did everyone suddenly go out and buy a car just like yours? No, your brain saw that it was important to you, you had been focusing your thoughts on that new car and so, as soon as you made that decision and bought the car, your brain tries to make you happy by letting you see examples of that wonderful car everywhere!  That’s what it does with our thoughts and emotions too and that’s why when we focus on gratitude, we find more and more things to be grateful for.

Isn’t our brain awesome?

So, why not try it?  Write down 3 things every day that you are grateful for and see what happens.

Sending Love