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I know that I have had so many times during my life when I didn't feel confident at all and maybe you have too.

When I was at school I used to love singing and acting (I still do).  I was always told that I was shy and people couldn't believe that I could get up on stage and sing and act in the way that I did and truthfully, I would often be so terrified of going on stage, even though I loved it so much.

How did I do it then?

Well, I'll tell you a secret, if you promise not to tell anyone.

My Mum had a secret stash of confidence inside of her.  Just before my performance, she would take a piece of confidence from her mouth and she'd pop it in my mouth.  I'd swallow and immediately I would feel the confidence running through my body.  Her confidence immediately became mine and I could go out there and smash the performace.  I knew I could do it... because I had confidence.

Now I look back on it as an adult it was a little crazy, but that was the story that I told myself and that I let others tell me.  I was shy ("everyone" told me so), I had no confidence of my own (how could I? I was shy!)  I "needed" a little of the secret stash of confidence my Mum kept inside of her.  It all seemed so true to me and that little taste of confidence that she gave me, well, it blew away all the insecure thinking that I had around going on stage.

As I got older I continued to perform. I went to Drama School and performed professionally and guess what? I didn't always need that little confidence boost from Mum - sometimes Mum wasn't there to give it to me so I had to go on without it! Eventually, I didn't need it all, I believed in my own abilities and my own confidence.  You see, self-confidence isn't just about a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement, it's also the absence of insecure feelings.

We all have our own stories, and our own issues that cause us insecure thoughts and feelings - let me repeat that - we all have our own stories, and our own issues that cause us insecure thoughts and feelings - and that's OK.  It's the thing that makes us human.  But when you see it, you can begin to realise what's possible instead.

Sometimes, our insecure thoughts and feelings pass by without us even noticing them.  Other times, we notice and push them away easily.  But, there are some times when we see those thoughts or feel those feelings and we give them energy.  We look at them, we focus our attention on them and those thoughts and feelings of insecurity grow and grow and we begin to see them as our reality.  The most ancient, wonderful part of our brain, that part that is sometimes called The Reptilian Brain, that part that is there to keep us safe, well and protected, decides to keep us safe, well and protected by allowing us to believe that those thoughts and feelings and the story we built around them, are true - and that keeps us stuck!  An innocent belief in a story we created from a simple, insecure thought.

But, what if you could change that thought, that feeling of "I can't do this" and have another thought?

Like me, taking a piece of that secret stash of confidence my Mum had inside of her?  I remember that feeling of "confidence" being popped inside my mouth and I remember the instant feeling of "I can do this".  I now see that all my Mum was doing was giving me a new story to believe and a change of perspective.

What if you could create a new story about the things that hold you back?

Imagine that! 

Imagine what you could do with a change of perspective and a curiousity to find out if your story was really true.

If you'd like to explore this more, contact me to discover how.

Sending love

Nicky x